November 26, 2015



I am overwhelmingly, dizzingly thankful every day, including of course, Thanksgiving Day. But there were times I wasn’t and it’s a painful, lonely place to be, as well written about in this article by Lisa Rosenthal to her fertile friends.

To the small, small number of people I said anything at all to about my journey (I chose the cocoon method) I would sometimes say, “Imagine if your kids weren’t here. Not that anything bad happened to them or anything, just they didn’t exist. You can’t, right? I can’t either, except at the same time they actually aren’t here.” Didn’t really help anyone get it, of course, but it usually at least ended the conversation for a while (back to the cocoon!). Of course we’re grateful for so much. Duh. That does not cancel out the hell that is infertility and reproductive trauma. I am not thankful for that and never will be. What I’m thankful for are people who get that.