August 10, 2016

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Resolve, The National Infertility Association

Worrying: How To Stop A Habit That Is Zapping Your Energy + Wasting Your Time:http://ow.ly/z0ju3034DFk

Ugh, I hate this. I know that Resolve is our greatest advocate and that friends and therapists generally have our best interests at heart. I know that worrying does not feel good and we can and should implement coping skills as much as we can. BUT, things like “How to worry less” and the like are one of the things that made me feel alone and crazy and angry and weak while going through hell to build my family. “How to worry less” is just another version of “Just relax and it will happen.” For anyone who reads a list like this and feels better or recharged or it gets you through the next hour or day, awesome.

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But for those of you who read this and sink further into despair, I am telling you I get it and you are not alone. You are not crazy, this is HARD. You are not weak, you can’t just talk yourself out of worrying, not about this. Worrying is a NORMAL psychological reaction to an incredibly stressful situation, and there is in fact research that supports it being MORE stressful for some people to try to stop worrying. (I am going to blog further about this soon, which I have been wanting to do for ages). For now, by all means take whatever helps from this list, and that may be different on different days. But every day remember that what may actually help you feel better is shredding shit like this and finding your own coping mechanisms that help you manage the reality of worrying rather than fruitless, guilt-ridden, bang your head against the wall attempts to deny or banish it. Grrr…

End rant.

LP