January 30, 2017
It’s hard to feel faith in this. I thought he would be stopped every step of the way- by people/voters who would wake up to his ever- escalating conning and disgust, by republicans who would say, No effing way is this moron our party rep, by democrats who would UNITE and DEMAND he be stopped, and LEAD the way, by the electoral college, who I thought was created for this very scenario, by President Obama, who I love for all the reasons and maybe couldn’t have done what I wanted him to do, but left me feeling so unprotected and thrown under the bus at the end, no matter how much I believe it hurt him to do it. Why would I believe now? And who? And then who do we get? Pence? Tillerson? ANY of them? NO comfort in that. It feels utterly overwhelming and demoralizing. Honestly, any form of resistance has become as important a daily coping mechanism to me as all the other ones I use like running and writing. But I feel like I didn’t sign up for this shit, I got drafted. We all did. And that’s fair, democracy isn’t free, and it’s worth it, and I’m all in, but I’m not going to pretend I like it, or can stand the people who actually voted for this mess, or that I don’t feel resentful at the opportunity cost of all this resistance, or am not feeling increasingly overwhelmed and blown away that this is our reality, or that I have faith in how it’s going to go from here, any more than I’m ever going to pretend I’m “grateful” for miscarriages and reproductive trauma. Fuck that inspiration porn and tyranny of positivity shit. Shit is shit. Reality is reality, and I’m all out of fucks to give. Yes, of course, grow and flourish after trauma, I know I have- despite it, not because of it. Will this political, civil unrest (talk about a euphemism) ultimately bring us to much needed improvement and better days? I do remain hopeful about that bc I still think good will prevail over evil. But the short term is still shit, and feels nearly impossible to trust. Or maybe I’m just having a bad day. Week. Two and a half months. Onward.
#RESIST #Indivisible #shitisshitisshitisshitisshit